A Birthday Gift

It's been way too long since I last posted on here. My computer decided to lock me out of windows and then by backup, Firefox, for some reason wouldn't let me onto any Blogger sites. >_>

But today it realized it was my birthday and gave me a present. It relinquished it's dirty hold over my blog and wallah, I now am back.

I know your all tittering in your seats at my return.

It was so cold and lonely out in Bloggerville without me I know, but rest assured, that cold feeling of loneliness can now disappear, I will warm you once again with my adventures in conquering my fear of writing.

Did I just hear a snort?

Well as you can see I'm just glad to be back.

I've been steadily working on my book and it's coming along. I feel like my characters are finally whispering their thoughts to me. They are finally telling me where they really want to go, who they want to see and most importantly what kind of wild ride I'm in for. It's a great feeling. A rush like no other.

Here's to staying high on writing.

Distractions and Flying Fingers

Well since the last post I have been really busy trying to get everything down on paper. Which is good. VERY good actually.

But I've noticed that it seems like every time I sit down to write, something happens. Whether it's somebody who just happens to drop by or, my favorite, family comes over to see what I'm up to.

The conversations with my mother usually go something like this.

Mom: "What are doing today?" Me: "Oh nothing, you know the usual; housework, laundry, accomplishing a dream..."

To which my mother replies, "Oh that's nice dear." (Points at laundry pile) "I thought you said you did laundry?"

Bangs head against wall....

Or the phone rings and the conversation goes something like this, "Hello? Hey, what's up?"(Pause) "What am I doing?" (Deep breath) "Oh finally getting a chance to write." (Pause) "Yes, it's an important part! The whole thing's important!!"

It's been a struggle to get the doors open in my head so I can actually write and now these other distractions keep creeping up. It's driving me insane!

I know life happens and I have to make time to write, which I am doing finally, but it would be nice if people would realize that I need to treat writing like it's a second job. I have to write as much as I can, when I can do it and right now with the story working I need to write a lot!

How do you handle distractions? Do they bother you as much as mine do? Or am I just overreacting because I'm worried that I'll get out of my groove?

I refuse to let these distractions get in my way though. I have turned my ringer off my phone and have cranked up the music tonight to let my imagination soar.

The only thing that could distract me tonight would be my front door blowing off it's hinges, causing me to have a heart attack over the keyboard.

Here's to pushing through distractions.

The Light Bulb Burneth Bright

Last night I had one of those AHA! moments. The kind that sent me careening out of bed and running to the table for my notebook. Much to the dismay of my cats who were quite comfy on the bed.

I realized that the reason I wasn't getting anywhere with my story was that it needed a boost. I couldn't pin down the right path for my girl because she needed more excitement, she needed me to up the anty for her.

There have been two stories running in my head and I had always viewed them separately but last night it came bounding home to me that those stories shouldn't be two separate stories but one single story. My girl needed the discipline of the men I had in mind for my crime fiction and my crime fiction needed the surprise elements I had in mind for my fantasy.

So wa-la a merging of both worlds. I went to bed the happiest I've been with my story in weeks. All the pieces seem to have finally come together and now I feel like I am heading down the right path. Yippie!!

Well holy smokes and pass the ammunition! My light bulb finally burneth bright! :)

Keep writing!!

Scratching My Head

Ok, so those of you who are following me (thank you, thank you) will know that I started this blog because I was tired of being afraid. I promised myself that I would stop allowing my fear to rule my writing. Finally.

Well after reading over and skipping through some similar blogs to mine I've realized just how many others are like me. Others who are struggling to get that burning idea down on paper, to see that character who has been talking to them for months now come alive on the page.

It's eye-opening and heartening to see so many others in the same struggle. I feel their pain and I hope they push through and write their stories.

But I've recently developed a problem. I think I've given myself too many options in my story. I know the main character and the main antagonist, as well as the world in general but I'm not sure where I want to begin in her story. I've tried outlining it. Didn't help me really. I could only plant the sections in that I knew but the rest I left open.

I know several scenes that I want to write in but I'm not sure which would be the best way to proceed. I mean have I given myself too many options or am I really just suffering a case of the dreaded writer's block? EEEEEEEEEK!! It seems WAY too early for that to me. But I've put those mental blocks in place before so really should I be that surprised?

So where do I go from here? I'm leaning toward just making notes in the book stating something like "she meets X here." Hmmmm

The thing is I want to write this book in order. I want to write everything from beginning to end but there are so many blank pages in my head right now. I thought I knew where she was going but now it's as if she has stopped to take a breather. Maybe that's just as well, maybe I've been forcing her down a road that she doesn't want to go down....

Maybe I've spent WAY too much time with my character these past few days too since now I see her as a separate person, almost.

Naaaaaaaaa.

I'm taking it as a good sign, she's finally come out to play with me and that's always good. Now if only I could get her to make a decision....

Here's to getting that first novel written!

To Outline Or Not To Outline...

My idea has finally reached a stage where I think it has percolated enough. I've gone over some initial details with friends and family and now it's time to outline...or is it?

I've never outlined a story before. I've only used small sticky notes and notebooks to jot down ideas on. Now I'm bursting to write in heavy page numbers but I just can't seem to start without writing a small pathway through the story. But there is a part of me that just doesn't want to do that. It doesn't want to take the time to write a possible outline of what may happen knowing that it could change in the future. Hmmmmm.

So here I sit, staring at a computer screen trying to figure the best way to write my story. Maybe I'm looking at it too seriously. I mean should I really care how I get to the end of my story? All that should matter is the end result. Right?

But I believe that writing should be fun and it is, very much so for me, as long as I slam the door in the face of all my doubts. The idea of an outline just takes a lot of the fun out for me. Some writers swear by outlines, they need it to help them see the story more clearly. But I see this story. I don't know all of what's going to happen but oh do I know enough.

I guess I could try it just to see if it helps but then that nagging voice starts up, "Look at all the time your gonna waste by outlining! You could already be several pages into the story!!" She's a very bossy voice. Blast her but she does have a point.

So once again I ask myself, to outline or not to outline. Hmmmm. I'm thinking start it first then if I get stranded do an outline. I guess if I get stranded I'll know next time to outline from the very beginning.

Suprise Laughter

I love music.

Always have and always will (as the cliche' goes). I love a variety of tunes and my mood controls the tunes. I wanted something upbeat for this post since I had NOTHING in mind for it (bad bad me!) So I headed over for some Benny Benassi and stumbled on a really neat DJ remix.

Now I never read comments, but tonight my eyes skitted across the LONG list of comments and screeched to a halt at the very last one on the page.

I blinked, and blinked again. Then promptly busted out laughing.

Here is the lol comment:

"Dude, He's a DJ. If you give him your email, He's going to give you the -Song- Not a virus. Look at his other vids, you'll see.

Jesus, People can't tell hackers from DJ's these days."

Now we know the hackers dirty plan!! They are going to start disguising themselves as DJ's and take over the Internet, one pc at a time...

Bravo Mr Comment Man. Thanks for the visual of a disgusted face and hands thrown into the air. I mean really what is the world coming to? ;p

Here's to you finding a small slice of unexpected laughter.

Keep writing.

Reading Up

I've spent the last couple of days looking at various publication outlets trying to find homes for my work. I had no idea how many new e-zines there were that take submissions. It was both eye-opening and disconcerting because now I need to narrow those outlets down to a manageable few to submit to.

I've never had anything published professionally before so this new lingo of how much to shoot for and how to submit is BRAND new to me. I feel like I have a huge learning curve to overcome. But I know I'm not the only one wondering the fields of insecurity and confusedom. It's nice to know your not alone.

There are several great websites out there catering to helping writers succeed. I found one just last night that kept me up into the wee morning hours (the bastard, lol). The site allows you to plug in your genre, story length, and a variety of other features to help you narrow the field down.

When I plugged my initial search in I was greeted with a response of "over 300 queries match your search try narrowing your search further". No kidding, ya think? Tried again with a bit more info plugged in and found that I had successfully brought it down to just a hair under 200.

I think it's a pretty useful site. Check it out yourselves. If nothing else it will get you started like it has me.

www.duotrope.com/index.aspx

I also realized while checking out different magazines that maybe my writing isn't so bad after all. I'm not saying I'm the best writer out there or that I'm better than most. Because, lets be honest, there will always be people out there better than you, but I do believe I can make a living at this.

I feel better and less fearful now that I am setting into motion a dream that has been bittersweet for me for years. It's as if with each step I take toward the goal of being a published writer the belief that I can do it grows stronger.

Maybe this is what I needed to do all along. Instead of all the negativity and put down I placed on myself with my fear and loathing, I should have just sucked it up and blew through that wall of problems. Oh well, can't cry over lost time or spilt milk and like I said at the beginning, I'm really tired of being afraid.

Here's to being a published writer.